I know we all have days where we wish time would fast forward or rewind and start over again so we could make a different decision. But do we really want that? What happens if we could rewind and we make another decision, but we still aren't happy?
Be happy in any situation that is put in front of you. There is always a silver lining or a purpose for it. Everything is meant to teach us something and form us into the person we are supposed to be. We may not like it in the moment; but believe me, if you push through and be happy you'll love where you end up.
This time two years ago I was in a very dark rough place. I didn't want to spend time with anyone, I didn't like my job, and I just wanted to run. Run far. This is when I started going home after work, curling up on the couch, making really poor eating decisions and started pushing everyone out of my life. Needless to say I wasn't happy with the way my life was at the moment and I was angry. I tried my plan and started looking for jobs with no luck. A couple months later I got a new boss and thought everything was going to be ok.
Things were getting a little better and in the fall of that year I made my first close friend in Wilmington and a friend from college moved to town. Now at least I felt like I had someone that would get me out of the house; and she did. She was amazing, is still amazing. We all have that person, or people, that saves us and I think she did that for me. She saved the life in Wilmington that I have now. Like I said I was ready to run away, that was my pattern when things got tough, I'm a runner. I ran from every past relationship or bad situation. I got as far away as I could. My thought process was "if I'm far away from the situation I don't have to face it."
During that fall I was being pursued by a student for an internship. Needless to say if I was planning on leaving soon, I didn't want to make a commitment for another 4 months. I wanted enough space to be able to run if I needed to. Well she won and I couldn't be more thankful, she is a big part of my life. She got me through some tough times at work and if I hadn't stayed I would never have been able to hire a girl who has become one of my best friends and roommate. Again, see how this all works; we may not like it in the moment but on the other side of the situation is a great place. We just have to learn to be patient, which I'm not. Although I do get it honestly; my Mom used to joke about my Dad "When God was handing out patience, your Dad thought He said punishment and ran." Hey it's a family trait :)
All through the spring and summer I started becoming the person I felt like I used to be, pretty happy, still had some hang ups, but getting back to being me. I felt good for the most part, but I started being a little self conscience. I mean we all are, but I still didn't do anything about it. I only wanted to go to the beach with my girl friends, I wore a coverup if we were out with guys. But I didn't want to run anymore, I mean I bought a house with my Mom. Obviously I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon.
In the fall of this past year I'm not exactly sure what happened, what changed my views on everything. Maybe just because I was happier, but I wanted to be healthy. I finally had the motivation to do what I wanted to do so bad. Lose the weight I had gained over the last three years. I wasn't looking for a quick fix anymore. And that brings me to when I really started this blog. All the waiting and heartache and anger led to this wonderful thing I call life.
I have felt like I love my life for a while now, but I think this morning was when it really really hit me. As I'm dancing alone in my kitchen on this dreary Saturday. This is happiness and I LOVE it.
I'm not sure where I would have ended up if I had been able to turn back time and make a different decision. I know I wouldn't have ended up here and I know now that I would NEVER pass this up. Be patient and be happy. This is your only life, we don't get re-dos. Make the most of it even in the dreary dark times. Dance in the rain, laugh through the tears, have a dance party at stoplights, be silly, be happy, love yourself.
Be careful what you wish for, history starts now. -five for fighting
I know I'm looking forward to the future and all the crazy things life will throw my way.
Until next time! xo
Be happy in any situation that is put in front of you. There is always a silver lining or a purpose for it. Everything is meant to teach us something and form us into the person we are supposed to be. We may not like it in the moment; but believe me, if you push through and be happy you'll love where you end up.
This time two years ago I was in a very dark rough place. I didn't want to spend time with anyone, I didn't like my job, and I just wanted to run. Run far. This is when I started going home after work, curling up on the couch, making really poor eating decisions and started pushing everyone out of my life. Needless to say I wasn't happy with the way my life was at the moment and I was angry. I tried my plan and started looking for jobs with no luck. A couple months later I got a new boss and thought everything was going to be ok.
Things were getting a little better and in the fall of that year I made my first close friend in Wilmington and a friend from college moved to town. Now at least I felt like I had someone that would get me out of the house; and she did. She was amazing, is still amazing. We all have that person, or people, that saves us and I think she did that for me. She saved the life in Wilmington that I have now. Like I said I was ready to run away, that was my pattern when things got tough, I'm a runner. I ran from every past relationship or bad situation. I got as far away as I could. My thought process was "if I'm far away from the situation I don't have to face it."
During that fall I was being pursued by a student for an internship. Needless to say if I was planning on leaving soon, I didn't want to make a commitment for another 4 months. I wanted enough space to be able to run if I needed to. Well she won and I couldn't be more thankful, she is a big part of my life. She got me through some tough times at work and if I hadn't stayed I would never have been able to hire a girl who has become one of my best friends and roommate. Again, see how this all works; we may not like it in the moment but on the other side of the situation is a great place. We just have to learn to be patient, which I'm not. Although I do get it honestly; my Mom used to joke about my Dad "When God was handing out patience, your Dad thought He said punishment and ran." Hey it's a family trait :)
All through the spring and summer I started becoming the person I felt like I used to be, pretty happy, still had some hang ups, but getting back to being me. I felt good for the most part, but I started being a little self conscience. I mean we all are, but I still didn't do anything about it. I only wanted to go to the beach with my girl friends, I wore a coverup if we were out with guys. But I didn't want to run anymore, I mean I bought a house with my Mom. Obviously I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon.
In the fall of this past year I'm not exactly sure what happened, what changed my views on everything. Maybe just because I was happier, but I wanted to be healthy. I finally had the motivation to do what I wanted to do so bad. Lose the weight I had gained over the last three years. I wasn't looking for a quick fix anymore. And that brings me to when I really started this blog. All the waiting and heartache and anger led to this wonderful thing I call life.
I have felt like I love my life for a while now, but I think this morning was when it really really hit me. As I'm dancing alone in my kitchen on this dreary Saturday. This is happiness and I LOVE it.
I'm not sure where I would have ended up if I had been able to turn back time and make a different decision. I know I wouldn't have ended up here and I know now that I would NEVER pass this up. Be patient and be happy. This is your only life, we don't get re-dos. Make the most of it even in the dreary dark times. Dance in the rain, laugh through the tears, have a dance party at stoplights, be silly, be happy, love yourself.
Be careful what you wish for, history starts now. -five for fighting
I know I'm looking forward to the future and all the crazy things life will throw my way.
Until next time! xo
Comments
Post a Comment